Kanye West: The Church Is A Banana Republic.

On his radio show Thursday, Kanye West described to listeners how the church is a banana republic.

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“They don’t hold any power, they’re just puppets of the Illuminati,” said West, interrupting a congregant named Bill in order to bring the charismatic leader of the Knights of Columbus to his knees, drawing raucous cheers from the packed worship hall.

“They’re just like the rest of us, just like you, weak-willed drones who don’t realize how much money you make. All we ask is that you fall under our spell and join us as we purify the Holy Grail and enter the Ritual Garden to experience the sweet delight of our eyes.” At press time, West had been brought low even further after imploring the crowd to please forgive his state-of-being.