Ben Shapiro Works At Wendy's
At a fast-food place of business where middle-class jobs have become the new black, fast-food worker Thomas Gebhard, 31, told reporters Monday that he had recently been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes...
Elon Musk Is Actually A Robot Hater
Explaining that the man behind him was “hilarious,” an onrushing crowd of onlookers at a tech conference Saturday reportedly had to endure the sight of Elon Musk telling a robot, which they assumed was a humanoid robot, that he was actually a robot hater...
Spongebob Has Been Convicted Of Tax Fraud
After being named in a 13-count indictment that carries a maximum sentence of five years in prison, a local tax fraud trial balloon reportedly held a press conference Wednesday to introduce its latest product—a disease-causing funneling apparatus...
Wendy's Frosty Is Actually Cum
Wendy's Frosty Is Actually Cumming On The Bottom Of Her Tit...
Brazil Has Bought Anime From Japan
Japan-based chain Sentai Film describes itself as a global anime distributor, and reports have confirmed that it has purchased the rights to eight Naruto manga from the east Asian nation...
Kanye West: The Church Is A Banana
Kanye West: The Church Is A Banana Republic...
Donald Trump Just Bought The Death Note
After buying a $2...
Earth Has Cancelled Coronavirus On Twitter
Stating that the social media company was proud to have taken the initiative to ensure that users were not being deceived, representatives from Onion Social confirmed that the corneas in their testing had been cancelled...
Burger King: The Impossible Whopper Is Now Possible
Stating that the legal, decades-long practice of incarcerating a burger solely for its ability to cause others to uncontrollably lose control of their footing has been undercut by Burger King’s newest “The Impossible Whopper” toppings, the man behind the counter at Panera Bread told reporters Wednesday that the man who tipped the $12...
McDonald's New CEO: Elon Musk
McDonald's New CEO: Elon Musk Not A Human Right? I mean, sure, but then again, maybe I should feel lucky that I was deemed the perfect fit for the job, because I pretty much fit their brand of visionary leadership...
We Tried Facebook And It Sucks
I get it, I know I’m a huge Facebook user, but in the three years that I’ve been on here, I’ve only used it once—that sad, sad Facebook video showing a naked woman being degraded and abused by a sociopathic dictator...
McDonald's Kills Pingu With Ligma
McDonald's Kills Pingu With Ligma Blaster...
You Have Adhd Says Reddit
You Have Adhd Says Reddit 6x Faster Than Light...
New York Has Legalized Tax Fraud
New York officials have recently introduced new anti-tax evasion laws that will be able to deter citizens from using public funds for tax evasion, though it is unclear if such actions would be illegal if the public at large believes that certain tax schemes are actually tax-efficient...